In this episode of TSB, Francis–of all people–finds out there’s a such thing as “sneaker porn”. And yep, it is literally what you think it is. According to PornHub, regular sex just won’t cut it for some people in 2018. Places like Columbus, Ohio are out to prove that they LOVE sneakers more than anyone else on the planet.

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Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi both make millions… for the competition. REIGN is releasing hyped up sneakers for retail. It’s gotta be a catch somewhere right?

IKEA is working on a collaboration with Adidas, creating a lethal combination of hypebeast and coupon-clipping soccer moms ready to mob a store near you.

And finally, Nike’s lawyers seem to never leave the courthouse once they’ve entered. They’re suing PUMA for allegedly stealing their Flyknit technology along with their cleat assembly. And as if the Swoosh wasn’t busy enough, they were fending off accusations that they rescinded their sponsorship from the Iranian soccer team due to political pressure from Donald Trump.